How did I get here?
by Chicago Menace
Summary: Have you ever wondered what was going through Edward's mind when he was leaving Bella? This is the place to find out.
1. Prolouge

Inspired by: New Moon.

Song that inspired me to write this: 'What Hurts the Most' by Rascal Flatts.

Pen Name: SelflessProtector

PoV: Edward.

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"Goodbye, Bella," I said this in the same quiet, peaceful voice. The only one I could choke out. I was leaving the love of my life, running from her, trying to make her safe again.

"Wait!" I heard Bella choke out, and I knew I was going well on my charade. The charade that I didn't love her anymore. So I could leave without any questioning. I could tell she was reaching for me, as was I, yet I locked my hands on her wrists and pinned them to her sides. I had to give her some idea that I actually loved her, even though she truly believed everything I had said within the past two minutes was true, I had to show her that I loved her. I closed the large distance and kissed her forehead for the briefest of moments, and I saw her eyes close…

"Take care of yourself," I breathed, my breath cool against her skin. I tucked her hair out of her face and behind her ear, took one last brief glance at her, and ran, not willing to look back. Not willing to look back at the angel faced woman I had just left. The only one I knew I would ever love. I had left her, broken her heart, hurt her so many ways. I tried to convince myself that this is precisely the reason why I had left her.

I was watching the forest fly by with every running bound I took. I saw everything in complete detail. It all reminded me too much of what I had left just six short miles behind me. Her words still echoed in my head.

"You… Don't… Want me?" I had made an internal battle with myself at that instant. What should I say? That, and why should I say something false? So I told her something that was half-truth, half a lie. No, I didn't want her _around me anymore._ I didn't need her _to get hurt because of me._ It was a horrible thing to say, I admit. Yet she let me leave without any questions. Of course, this was exactly what I needed, to be asked why without any questions whatsoever.

I caught the thoughts of my family, the thought of Alice telling me to turn around and run back. I could see her latest vision of Bella trying to follow me into the woods, and her face looked as empty as my mind. Nothing processed, I didn't know where I was going, nor why I was going for that matter. All I knew was I had to get away from Forks or the continental United States of America. I was useless here, and I would be too easily tracked. So I had a new plot. To go to Africa and waste away where I could waste and not be asked why, or how, I could waste away so easily.

Africa was usually a place of depression… And I was flat-out depressed at the moment… And Africa seemed the place to go. I was hitting the border of Washington now, spilling out into Idaho. The very tip of Idaho would be easy to go through if I just went straight through it. I was more worried about the light in Montana, wondering if I would be killed then.

I had also wondered if I would ever go back to see Bella again. If I ever did, I started to wonder how, and possibly why, thus, what I would ever say to her.


	2. Vision

I can't believe it. We have to move AGAIN. And it was all because of Edward. Why was he breaking up with Bella anyway? It was an accident that can easily be prevented. But noo… we have to leave, and hurt my friend in the process. I wanted to look for her future and see how she'll be, but Edward made me promise to not look for her future. Ugh. Doesn't he realize that I can't control it sometimes?

We (Me, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme.) were all running through the forest trying to find somewhere else to go. I saw flashes of brown and green go by us. I looked to my right and saw Jasper close by my side. I looked him over, his shaggy blond hair, pale smooth skin with scars from his past randomly placed all over his body. I knew he didn't mean to hurt Bella, but he is still so upset at himself, thinking he could have stopped himself if he was strong enough. He'd even come close to leaving the family. None of us would let him though. I was mostly upset at myself. I should have been able to see it, and prevent it. I should have realized that, being the clumsy danger magnet Bella was, she probably would have somehow gotten hurt. Suddenly I was struck with the familiar feeling of me sinking deeper and deeper into my mind, receiving a vision.

_Edward was running. Running as fast as his legs would take him. He would make it to the other end of the country in a matter of days at this rate. He looked worse than ever. His messy hair was no longer a bed head, but now as if he's been running his fingers through it none stop for hours. He had dirt on his face and his eyes were pitch black. He was running through a flat land, with the occasional shrub or tree along the sandy terrain. There was a camel in the background. Then the vision changed. It was once again a flat land but this time it had grass all across it. There were elephants and lions. He was in Africa. He attacked one of the lionesses for blood but that's all he took. He buried the carcass before sitting on the ground and breaking into a tearless sob as he repeated Bella's name over and over, in a horse voice.__  
_  
The Vision ended and everyone was standing around me. I looked at them all sadly. We all expected Edward to meet up with us after he told bella that we were leaving. From my look they all knew it wasn't good news I had to give.

"Edward isn't meeting up with us…" I told them and all their faces fell. Esme looked devastated, Rosalie looked made, Emmett looked depressed, Carlisle looked understanding, and jazzy looked it pain from all the emotions he was receiving.

"All because of that human!? Why didn't he just kill her in the first place? If not for her we would still be in Forks and we wouldn't be moving AGAIN and Edward would still be with us!" Rosalie shouted angrily. She can be such a pain. She didn't see what bella has done to and for this family? She brought Edward to us. We had him back because of her. I glared at Rosalie darkly and she glared right back. Her golden eyes looked into mine, with anger and disgust. I just wanted to kill her right now, but I knew deep down she would get use to bella. Well not anymore now that Edward made us leave.

"Where did he go alice?" Jasper asked softly. Everyone looked at me, wanting to know the answer.

"He's on his way to Africa right now. I'm not sure where hes going from there though. But I can tell hes going to be there for a while." I said glumly. Everyone nodded. We stood there for a moment, soaking it in before hesitantly we took off running again. Running from our friend and our life in Forks.


End file.
